17 Months

17 Months ago we applied to adopt a little girl from Thailand 0-3 years old. That's all we knew for 16 months. How did we get through that? Stayed busy and had a lot of fun with the people around us!!! And at times, stared at the phone, the email, and in general dwelled on it. Hey - nothing but the truth here.

For 16 months we had no idea who this little girl was. Last month we received Mia's information and - Now instead of counting up 16, 17, 18 months, we are finally counting down 6, 5, 4, months until we meet our little girl. I just realized I'm still saying 6 months but actually, the December board meetings are 5 months away and we hope to be there! For those of you wondering - We should get our travel dates 3-8 weeks before we travel to Thailand.

Is the wait harder after referral? A lot of people say yes but for me it has been easier so far. Not knowing was harder - not knowing when we'd get a referral, not knowing her age was not fun. I couldn't plan anything. I couldn't shop for anything.

Now - I know who she is and how old she is and can look for furniture, clothes, baby gadgets, work on middle name (have a few ideas there), think about her when I see 6 month olds, 1 year olds and know that's what she's doing now, that's what she'll be like in Dec. etc. For me - that makes it easier. I've also made a huge conscious decision to not think about missing a year of her life. I was never supposed to parent Mia in her first year. Just repeat it over and over!

It's been a long time since we had a one year old - I recently saw a little girl who had just turned 1 and one year olds are smaller than I remember! LOL

I wonder what else I've forgotten...

Names...

For months Little M's name has been Mia. But what about her middle name?

The 1st Question everyone had - When do you go get her? 6 Months

The 2nd Question - Why 6 months? We addressed that here

The 3rd Question - What's her middle name? No idea

Our hope was to use a portion of her birth name or maybe even her nick name. I say a portion because I had a guess the birth name might contain every letter in the alphabet and 10 syllables.

We came close -

Her birth name - very long - 8 syllables means beautiful decoration (I think)

Her nick name - Bai Tong means banana leaf

Most people just raise their eyebrows and say Wow when we say her names. But the cutest comment was from a former school teacher who said that's not going to fit on a standardized test. :)

I think the obvious choice if we were to convert a portion to English would be a variation Isabella but with a last name of Bell, we aren't leaning toward that.

So we are left with the debate that most parents of internationally adopted children have - will she care later if her name doesn't sound American? Remember, she will already look different than everyone in her class. Picture that 2nd grade conversation of "What's your middle name?" My kids wanted to know WHY I picked their names. So names are important and I learned later that having a meaningful reason was better received than saying we just liked the name.

I stare at her given names a lot - trying to come up with something and debating just using a portion of the name in the Thai form. We will use Bai Tong as a nickname since she knows Bai Tong as her name. It won't be unusual if she's never heard her birth name but that doesn't mean we shouldn't honor the name chosen by her birth mother. Afterall, it was her plan for adoption that brought M to us.

Ah - Decisions Decisions... I am so thrilled to be at this point in the "process".

And yes - I am buying every cute dress I come across. But that's a whole different post. I will just say that I must think polka dots are cute. I noticed a trend and am making a conscious effort to lose the trend.

WHY 6 MONTHS???

If I had a dime for everytime someone has said Why 6 Months? I could pay for one of the plane tickets...

I answer it like this - I have no idea and it boggles my mind but this I know - Paperwork - a lot of paperwork - 2 governments working with each other... And we aren't the only people the world adopting right now so our paperwork is in line to be processed. They also give us 3-8 weeks notice to travel so it's really only 4 months and then we have travel dates. In my head I'm saying I waited over 16 months for her picture and researched countries for months before that so 6 months will fly by. Seriously, it will.

So that's where the FUN is!!! I know some people call it stress but I have waited a long time for the next 6 months so I plan to enjoy it all!!! What to do in the next 6 months??? Hello - prepare!!!

Logistics - Everything - we haven't done anything to get ready, haven't really bought anything.

Mentally - I think we know (as best we can) what to expect of the trip - thank you all who have blogged your travel because it has helped us tremendously - we couldn't have gotten this information from the many books we've read.

Lists - I like Lists and we need Lists - not one List - lots of Lists!!!

• Clothing List - did I mention we'll pick M up in Dec which means sundresses in Thailand and winter coats in KY??? Did I mention I hate cold weather so bringing this little girl to cold weather is just plain mean? The avg temp is Thailand is 90ish everyday all year...
• Travel List - what to take, ok that's numerous lists too - Plane List, Hotel List, Mom List, Dad List, Matt List, Mark List, Mia List...Holt will give me a list so I just need to concentrate on plane list - how to keep 5 people occupied on a plane for 50 hours - 25 there, 25 back...fun fun! Still no one wants to go with us...Jenn G is my only taker.
• House List - what does a 1 year old need again??? It's been 7 years for me so I better make a list??? Also - baby proofing list - house is definitely not baby proofed. Let me add AT ALL...
• Foster Family List - Wow - that one overwhelmes me? What do we ask? How long are we there? How do we get answers without sounding like an interview? I mean - I have the utmost respect for this family so I don't want to offend them. YIKES - I will turn to you guys who have traveled for help here.
• Gift List - How many gifts should we take? Need a list of people and then take some extra right?
• Mia Gift List - Things to buy in Thailand to give Mia at certain times in her life.
• Attachment List - Ways to bond - write them down - we'll be too tired to remember anything.
• Mall List - How to occupy 3 kids in a mall without going crazy and spending all your money. Why? Oh that's a separate post entirely. My thought is if we can survive 25 hours on a plane - Mall Day should be ok since we can walk around.
• List of Things to do in Thailand
• Lists that I'm not thinking of - LOL there's something I'm not thinking of so what have I forgotten?

Learn Thai - ok well - learn some basic Thai. Hello, Thank You, Chicken, Where is Sukumwit Road? (our hotel street)...

Relax - We need to relax - Do you know how often the a toddler's mother gets to relax. Exactly, so I better do it NOW!!! because I won't get to until 2014. LOL

See this is why I need 4 months to prepare for Mia. 2 Months to prepare to travel. It's all about expectation - we never expected to travel before 6 months so this waiting is just part of the process. A hard part but it's all hard so I saved everything to do during this time. I better get busy and quit staring at her picture because I have lots to do!